Mom & Me Three Archive

...in which I play the part of her body reacting to whatever is being done to it by whomever is doing it (sometimes I'm the one doing it). Yesterday, in the face of her obvious and unusual day incontinence and the strong medicinal smell of her urine, the playlet unfolded as follows:

    "Well, Mom, it looks like this is what your body is saying:
    'Did you hear? Gail said last night's dose was the last of the antibiotics. Thank god! Now we can get rid of all that shit! Liver alert! Kidney alert! Bladder alert! Start shedding...3 - 2 - 1 - Eject!'"

    Although these playlets may, then again may not, be an accurately allegorical description of what's going on, they provide the needed dose of humor that gets us through unexpected and potentially worrisome body displays until I can find enough information to adequately explain them or satisfy myself that these displays have yet to be explained by anyone. Once in awhile the displays reveal themselves to require further attention, either of a medical or practical caretaker sort. Most of the time they do not. The playlets reinforce the confidence my mother has that her body will keep her around as long as she wants, a confidence that is probably the most medically important treatment in which she participates.
    Despite this, yesterday was a good, full day for my mother. We watched "Bible movies", one of her favorite entertainments. My mother was begat of respectable ancestral line of Methodist ministers, including the last couple centuries of Methodism's evolution from circuit riding fire and brimstone preachers through staid deaconesses to ordinary, mild mannered, "Oh my god, there's a Catholic in the community" parish preachers (her grandfather on her mother's side). She has always been fascinated by religion, Protestant Christianity in particular and The Yearning for The Sacred in general. Thus, her enjoyment of these movies doesn't linger on the melodramatics or the off-track interpretive acting contained in so many of them. She searches between the spectacles for clues that might illuminate spiritual inconsistencies or throw some light on what, in the character of a particular spiritual person combined with the spiritual character of the age in which that person lived, might have contributed to their involvement in the encouragement of spiritual evolution and, eventually, the creation of religious doctrine. She often notices, as she did yesterday in the two movies we watched (both rented), Luther and Judas, curious discrepancies: During the first she commented, "He seems too innocent to have come up with all that troublemaking interpretation." During the second: "I see Jesus is a blond again," she always finds this incredibly funny, and "These movies never mention that Judas was directed by God to do what he did. His job was the hardest..." [cont'd after next paragraph]
    It is 1509; this is the third time today I've come in to "finish" this post. I hope I'll be able to finish it off this time.
    At this point her voice trailed...her unspoken meaning is that she believes this is why he killed himself. I love watching "Bible movies" with my mother, whether they're good or bad. They always provoke her to talk about doctrine versus belief versus spirituality. We have involved, enjoyable discussions during and after these movies.
    So, today is "getting ready for the trip tomorrow" day. That's why I've interrupted myself so often while trying to polish off this post. I am in "remember to do such and such" mode. Mom is sleeping a bit more than usual today. She's excited about the trip and is using it as an excuse to "rest up". The highlights from last weekend's dog show are on. When she laid down she asked me to awaken her for it, just before 1500 our time. I did, at 1445, and she said, "It lasts three hours...call me a little later. I'm not completely rested." So, I'll call her at 1600.
    I'm concerned about the blump on her right elbow. It seems to have enlarged a bit. Although she is showing no other signs of low sodium I'm cutting back on her fluids even further and I picked up a chicken pot pie at Costco today to serve for dinner, which is loaded with sodium. With my luck, her problem will be exactly the opposite! Her body seems to be settling down on the flushing...did I mention that? No. I don't know. I expect, since her routine monthly CBC's do not include BUN and Creatinine readings, they'll probably draw blood tomorrow. All I'm hoping is that they don't discover anything bizarre or worrisome that causes them to say, "Mrs. Hudson, you need to be admitted to the hospital. Now." This possibility suddenly occurred to me this morning while we were bathing her and I burst into tears, much to my mother's astonishment.
    When I explained to her why I was crying she said, "Oh, Gail! You worry too much! I feel fine! They won't put me in the hospital!"
    I hope she's right. She always "feel[s] fine", though, even when she's so far under the weather she's close to underground. I'm concentrating on directing the healing energy of the Universe in her direction, just in case. In addition, if anyone of the medical persuasion expresses concern about anything I'm going to vociferously lobby for keeping her at home and monitoring her closely, even if that means a few more back and forth trips to Mesa in a short period of time. I don't care. One way or another, while they are giving her what she needs, they always manage to screw her up. This morning I even told her, "You know, Mom, I'm almost tempted, from this point on, to refuse to ever put you in a hospital again, even if it appears as though you really need it."
    "I'm for that," she said. Of course, I will probably reverse this position if necessary. At least now I know to refuse unnecessary catheterization and keep an even closer eye on procedure than I usually do. Each visit to a hospital reveals more procedural care problems.
    I can't help, at times like these, to consider the present day confusion over the various versions of the Hippocratic Oath and modern day medical oath taking in general. It's scary, when you think about it. I've had experience with most of the gamut of physicians/non-alternative medical providers and there is no clear internal or external agreement anymore upon which a patient or medical advocate can fasten her trust.
    I'm not sure whether I'll be back here before Tuesday morning. It depends on how time is filled over the next 36 hours or so and how exhausted I am when we return home tomorrow night, assuming, hoping, that we do return home tomorrow night.
    Later.