Mom & Me Three Archive

    Last night as I was plowing through yet another box looking for my second grade school picture I ran across the witnessed form from ScienceCare Anatomical, the organization through which my mother has decided to donate her body to science. We finalized the form 9/8/04 but I not only forgot to send it in, I thought I had. It will, of course, be put in the mail this week.
    As I was reviewing the form and filling in the particulars for the death certificate I realized that not having sent it was a stroke of Providence. Had I sent it immediately after witnessing last year, her registration would have circularily gone through three revisions, ultimately settling back where we started with the PCP who originally witnessed the form. Thank the gods for my memory lapse.
    As I finished the death certificate information section, with each completed blank I thought Yes, this will be her final doctor, her final home, her final wishes for the final disposition of her body... I experienced a peculiar sense of settlement and satisfaction as I realized that, from now on, very few of the circumstances surrounding of my mother's life will change.

• This fall we'll be updating her Powers of Attorney, Revocable Trust, Will and Living Will and aligning business documents to coincide with this update. Since her circumstances are unlikely to change this will probably be the last alteration and update, regardless of how many more years she puts in here.
• Although some of the interior of my mother's and my home may be remodeled, minor repairs may be needed and my hopes are that the land will undergo some changes, as my mother's life continues the alterations will be minor. Our home is essentially in its final state.
• There will be no changes in her business life as far as I can see: There is no reason not to remain with her present CPA, stock broker and financial advisor. The state of her much simplified portfolio will probably need no further changes except some minor twiddlings with holdings here and there.
• While we've agreed that we need to take stock of our "movable" possessions and thin them out, very little will change in this respect as well.
• I believe my mother's relationships with her family and friends are settled, as much as they can be. She is satisfied with them. Relatives and friends seem to be satisfied with them. While a few may precede her in death and a few may be added, for the most part her relational life will remain the same from now until her death.

    All this finalization makes circumstances as her Final Caregiver much easier to negotiate, not to mention much easier on my nerves. My mother's spirit remains the spirit of an adventurer and I'm sure she will continue to propose moving here and there, getting rid of this property, securing others, but I am also sure, since I am in charge of her life now and simplification much enhances my ability to manage and handle her life, besides which she is much slowed from previous years, these adventures will manifest as mutually entertaining flights of fancy.
    The final tally tells me that Mom is satisfied, I'm satisfied and our conjoined life from here on out, while still subject to occasional Continuing Education pop quizzes, most of which will require more negotiation from me than my mother, will remain securely in The Realm of the Settled. It is with great relief that I feel I can now pronounce us settlers.
    Finally.