Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Although she was feeling good when she awoke...
...this morning and awoke on her own much earlier than the last few days, she wasn't up to a trip to the grocery for supplies for our pie baking spree tomorrow. This worked out well. The grocery was so crowded that aisles were regularly blocked and the deli area, where she would normally sit out a busy market, was chock full of companionated people with the same idea. She did, however, remain awake of her own accord while I shopped, looking through our selection of cooking magazines and watching Animal Planet.
I'm thinking, so we don't have to get an unusually early start on Thanksgiving, that we'll probably sack our first visit plan for Thanksgiving Day which involves visiting relatives for brunch. I think Mom's going to be moving slow. I talked to MPBIL early today about this and he understands. He's enduring a sinus infection and MPS has a stubborn cold. If we don't make it for brunch at their house I don't think it's going to be a problem. I think the day will be easier on both Mom and me if we don't try to hit the trail at 0700 and accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. MCF's family may as well consider themselves our family, anyway, so we'll definitely be celebrating with family.
On the holidays I much prefer visiting to hosting, now. The amount of work remains the same either way, really, although the type of work differs. When visiting, I hone my attention more acutely on Mom by a power of three; when we're hosting it's by a power of two. Juggling all the supplies with which we travel is worthy of a Las Vegas acrobatic act. Unfamiliar surroundings mean that I have to be aware of where she is at all times, what she's doing, be ready to help her negotiate her way around an unfamiliar environment and try to anticipate what she might do next. When we're hosting all the extra work involved causes my temper to wind tightly from trying to keep everyone from "helping" me into a lot more work than is normally necessary. When people (family, actually, related family) visit for the holidays there is a silent assumption, which I have to fight, that all the routines, restrictions and reminders that keep Mom in peak condition can be dispensed with. I end up countermanding everyone's else's assumptions about what Mom can/should and can't/shouldn't do. When we're visiting, hosts tend to step out of the way and ask me first if this or that is okay for Mom. I'm not sure why this happens but it does. Although either way it's a trick for me to relax for moments here and there and enjoy the company of others on holidays because of keeping my eye on Mom, it's definitely easier when we're visiting.
Truthfully, visiting MCFs is always easier on me than visiting related family. The reason, I believe, is because they took care of their elderly father in their home for some years up to his death. They get it. They get everything about it, including all the peculiar-to-holidays caregiving challenges. They've developed the eccentricities of the senses that caregiving for An Ancient One catalyzes. They understand that I'm going to have my primary sites constantly on my mother and they instinctively pitch in. I know that if I don't notice a possible haywire moment they will. Thus, I relax more around them.
As well, this holiday none of them is sick. This bodes well for Mom.
List of stuff to take:
Later.
I'm thinking, so we don't have to get an unusually early start on Thanksgiving, that we'll probably sack our first visit plan for Thanksgiving Day which involves visiting relatives for brunch. I think Mom's going to be moving slow. I talked to MPBIL early today about this and he understands. He's enduring a sinus infection and MPS has a stubborn cold. If we don't make it for brunch at their house I don't think it's going to be a problem. I think the day will be easier on both Mom and me if we don't try to hit the trail at 0700 and accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. MCF's family may as well consider themselves our family, anyway, so we'll definitely be celebrating with family.
On the holidays I much prefer visiting to hosting, now. The amount of work remains the same either way, really, although the type of work differs. When visiting, I hone my attention more acutely on Mom by a power of three; when we're hosting it's by a power of two. Juggling all the supplies with which we travel is worthy of a Las Vegas acrobatic act. Unfamiliar surroundings mean that I have to be aware of where she is at all times, what she's doing, be ready to help her negotiate her way around an unfamiliar environment and try to anticipate what she might do next. When we're hosting all the extra work involved causes my temper to wind tightly from trying to keep everyone from "helping" me into a lot more work than is normally necessary. When people (family, actually, related family) visit for the holidays there is a silent assumption, which I have to fight, that all the routines, restrictions and reminders that keep Mom in peak condition can be dispensed with. I end up countermanding everyone's else's assumptions about what Mom can/should and can't/shouldn't do. When we're visiting, hosts tend to step out of the way and ask me first if this or that is okay for Mom. I'm not sure why this happens but it does. Although either way it's a trick for me to relax for moments here and there and enjoy the company of others on holidays because of keeping my eye on Mom, it's definitely easier when we're visiting.
Truthfully, visiting MCFs is always easier on me than visiting related family. The reason, I believe, is because they took care of their elderly father in their home for some years up to his death. They get it. They get everything about it, including all the peculiar-to-holidays caregiving challenges. They've developed the eccentricities of the senses that caregiving for An Ancient One catalyzes. They understand that I'm going to have my primary sites constantly on my mother and they instinctively pitch in. I know that if I don't notice a possible haywire moment they will. Thus, I relax more around them.
As well, this holiday none of them is sick. This bodes well for Mom.
List of stuff to take:
- Plastic sheet in case Mom decides to nap (unlikely but it's a good idea to be prepared).
- Lots of paper underwear, both sizes.
- Mom's favorite brand of diet rootbeer.
- My bubble water.
- The flavored faux creamer that I contiually forget to give to MCF when she's here.
- The pies and cheesecake.
- The whipping cream for the pies (check with MCF on this).
- Two gallons of water just in case (always a good idea in the desert).
- Change of clothes for Mom, just in case.
- Mom's meds.
- Baby wipes, just in case.
- The back dated gossip tabloids we've collected for MCF and family.
- Two M-6 canisters and one C-4 canister of oxygen, just in case. She probably won't need oxygen down there but you never know.
- The walker. I think we'll be able to do without the wheelchair. If we take the cane Mom won't use it. She hasn't gotten used to it yet.
- A can of V-8 juice and maybe some yoghurt for Mom to snack on, just in case there is a long time between major feeds and she gets hungry.
- Big ice chest for the water and spoilable food. Oh, yeah. Gotta remember to get ice. Maybe we'll do that on the way out.
Later.
